PEEKABOO

I haven’t slept yet. I am not sleepy, I have too much energy to sleep even if my body is tired; my mind won’t let me doze off So many things happened to me the past 24 hours
I think I will never get to sleep at all this day. I never realize that my coming of age, my finding who I am would be this confusing, this difficult.

am gay gosh! Writing it down is such a tremendous relief already,putting it down on paper kind of makes me committed to really come out. It is not on my mind anymore. It is written down in paper and kind of makes me realize that this real. I knew I was gay ever since I noticed the difference between a boy and a girl, between a flower and a bee. when I was much, much younger it puzzled me why it felt so natural for me to play dolls with girls, to play house, to play Chinese garter and parlor games. It felt natural for me to admire big boys not as heroes but as something else to admire ?them for their good looks and have undefined feelings for them.

In society where homosexual is grudgingly accepted and somewhat tolerated. I am also unfortunate to belong to a very conservative family. My father is a very traditional family man: aloof, soldier, formal and cold, my mom is a plain housewife. Needless to say I am closer to her than I am to my dad. I also have two big brothers and 1 pretty sister haha!!

As of now I’m still single lol hahaha!!