The song is of course so very appropriate since I have been staying at the hospital (not as a patient this time) but as a visitor as my boyfriend is sick and confined. Partly this is also the reason I get to blog a lot since I have a lot of down time especially at night. I think the amount of kindness, empathy, care and compassion I have received the many times I was confined predisposed me to treat people as I was treated and ultimately, I think that was a great lesson that I got from many mostly unpleasant experiences. As you know, I always tend to overcompensate in dressing up when I am going though something and I figured perhaps wearing my favorite color (chartreuse) would do the trick, which I admit, got the job done, however minimally.
Since we are on the subject of health and hospitals, I have come to realize that most of us forget to ask ourselves how we are doing, because of the hustle and bustle of everyday. Obviously, I am not one of those people. Before the post traumatic stress disorder which has caused me to develop hypochondria (I am afraid of getting sick), I used to think that despite the symptoms, if I can walk and talk, that's good enough for me. Clearly, that didn't work out well and even more, it has caused more problems than benefits to myself. The thing I am always so sensitive about is PAIN. I require pain managements whenever confined because my threshold has been quite challenged especially after my surgeries. I am afraid of pain, yet at the same time cannot do anything about it as I am allergic to ALL painkillers of the NSAIDS variety except for Paracetamol, and so, I cannot begin to explain having to go through severe pain with only Paracetamol (unless I have myself admitted). It's all so very sad, traumatic really... but you get used to is... until it really hurts. (Again I am talking about physical pain here. To clarify, NO, Paracetamol won't help you in any emotional pain you might be going through. It helps to be specific, you see.
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