Today was a regular-ish kind of day. I woke up. Hopped on the train. Got coffee. Went to work. Got a burrito. Ate my burrito. But of courseâ€”the addition of the crop top made everything super irregular. I woke up and put on a crop top. I hopped on a train in a crop top. I got coffee, and OMG you guys, Iâ€™m in a crop top!. Except of course, Helen didnâ€™t say anything about my tiny tee when I came into the office which reaffirms that I love that I work at a place where I can flash some skin sans consequences.
But of course, the crop top shouldn’t be more incendiary than a drop crotch, but thereâ€™s something about how this this 90s novelty was such a no-no in my household that I kept catching myself looking over my shoulder today for Mommy Wang’s disapproving finger.
I mean, the crop top is definitely kind of raunchy, but it doesn’t have to be—and ugh I hate this word—slutty. Hereâ€™s how you get your crop on without compromising your propriety:
Mind your midriff
There are certain areas that some people will never expose (Iâ€™m not talking about never-nudesâ€”more like places you wouldnâ€™t show off if youâ€™re not on the beach). Some people think side-boob is a terrible offense. I think itâ€™s kind of lovely. Some people think that buttcrack is a nono. I kind of agree. For me, itâ€™s your buttcheeks and your bellybutton. So, when I wear a croptop, it’s always going to be paired with high-waisted bottoms. No questions asked.
The short and long of it
Iâ€™d count my ribs to tell you where itâ€™s hitting, but feeling my ribs freaks me out (they move when you breath! Baaahh). So, one palm span above your belly button should be sufficient. Make sure you leave enough room to keep those lady lumps from lady-ing their way out of there, but donâ€™t leave it too long to make your shirt look like an accident.
Whenever I wear something a little off-center, I always ask myself â€œwhat would be the complete opposite of the girl thatâ€™d wear this?â€ So, for the crop-top wearing 90s pastel princess, the opposite would be a stoic-lipped corporate diva. Pleated shorts + blazer = mission accomplished.