Tonight I had an academic awards ceremony at school and got all fancied up. I originally bought this dress back in July for my graduation pictures at an antique shop. It was worn by a woman in the 1940’s to her prom! It’s super delicate and I haven’t worn it since last July, but I thought tonight might be special enough to bring it out of its hiding :)
The award ceremony was a huge disappointment though. I mean, I knew I wouldn’t really get anything special. I do well in school, but I’m not the smartest in my class or the most exceptional. I’m just, Lauren. There are all sorts of scholarships though that are announced at this ceremony and I was really hoping to get one…but I didn’t. I don’t know, I just put so much heart and soul into my essays, tried really hard, and gave it my all and I still didn’t get anything. Sometimes it seems so unfair that I have just as much capability as someone else, but because they have more of a ‘financial need’ than me that they get the scholarship over me. Being a middle class family sucks.
I mean it’s not something I really talk about a lot on here but paying for college scares the daylights out of me. Kent is a public school and I did get some money off, but it still costs thousands upon thousands of dollars a year to go there. I was just really hoping that I could get some scholarships to relieve the financial burden on my parents and myself in later years. I’m just left disappointed and bitter though because I knew from the start of my freshman year that I wouldn’t get anything special.
I suppose that’s just the way life goes.