While coming home from the double date though last night though I just had this odd feeling in my stomach. Although I had a perfectly fine and lovely night, I knew that it’s not who I am to do stuff like this. The whole time all I could think about was going home, snuggling in my pajamas and a blanket, reading blogs, and listening to some music. I’ve become so accustomed to and come to quite enjoy being alone. I’ve been alone for so long that it doesn’t hurt anymore, but has become such a part of who I am as a person. It took me years to learn how to be alone without being lonely and although I wish I could be a social person and enjoy social outings more than I do, I just can’t. In my heart I just crave being alone and thinking and being my own best friend. I don’t know if this way of thinking is necessarily a good or a bad thing. On one hand, I’ll never feel the need to be defined by another person. On the other hand, however, what human being doesn’t want long lasting, meaningful friendships? I know I do want that, but sometimes it’s just easier not to try and put forth all of the effort and emotional feelings toward friendship. I just confuse myself so I don’t expect you all to understand my madness. Sigh.