In my real non-internet life, the general consensus is that I look like David Bowie. I mean, David Bowie is rad and all, but as a lady (and believe me, I am a lady in every sense of the word — curtsey), it’s not exactly what I’d like to hear. I’d much prefer that someone tell me I look like Shannyn Sossamon or something. A girl can dream!
Well that covers Part 1 of 2 from this post’s title. Now for the Oakland bootie: I literally split these legging in two today pulling them on. No lie — the whole back seam just came right open, as though I were a nerdy cartoon character humiliating myself on the first day of junior high school. I left the leggings split open for a while (in true Liz Lemon fashion), until I finished eating my Pocky, after which I hand-stitching them right back up. So, this title is my homage to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s infamous callout for a girl with an “LA Face and an Oakland Bootie”, but Madeline-ified.