OMG, IT IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY IN THE ENTIRE YEAR. Please ignore my slutty nude-colored bra-strap in the picture there (whodoIthinkIam? Melissa Joan Hart circa 97?), but this pictures illustrates the point that for me, the festivities start way before the 31st. This Mad Hatter costume was for a birthday part two week ago, and I’ve been filling my days with costume parties and pumpkin carvings and cider drinking and getting-dressed-up-by-myself-in-a-banana-costume-for-fun-ing all in preparation for tonight!
Halloween might be the only thing I don’t procrastinate on, and me and my friends’ trio of costumes are beyond epic. But, for those of you out there that are scrambling to throw together something, here are a few cardinal rules:
1. PUT DOWN THE FISHNETS AND NOVELTY HEADBAND. Those two things have singlehandedly ruined this holiday.
2. Being something specific is always better than being something general. Sexy cat? BORING. Sexy Catwoman? Better. Sexy Puss in Boots? Ding ding ding!
3. Facial hair = always funny. Trust me.
4. Comb through your list of literary, pop culture, musical and historical characters. If all fails, try for a really bad pun. At least you’ll get some people chuckling.
Here are a list of costume ideas that have either impressed me, I’ve worn, or would just like to see someone do in real life:
The 2nd Amendment (bear arms!)
The Hiphopopotamus and Rhymenoceros
Sexy astronaut (ok this one is breaking the rules but I think this would be hilarious)
Anna Wintour and Andre
The Whomping Willow and Goblet of Fire
Gunther and the Sunshine Girls