Hello!!! I’ve really missed it here on Chictopia, and am really sorry I haven’t been able to post or even really comment on all of your posts. It’s been quite a hectic week full of rain, thunder, and tornado warnings here in Southern California. The sky is clear now and I have never been happier to see a cloudless sky (usually I hate it since it’s just blue with nothing to really look at…).
So yesterday, I had my first wedding gig as a photographer and I had an amazing time. You can read and see a few photos on my blog. I only posted a few because there are 800 photos to go through and edit, but this is what I wore + a cardigan to cover up my disgustingly lack of a tan. I really do love this dress and can’t wait to dress it up more for our anniversary/valentine’s day/my bf’s 21st bday. Our third-year anniversary is on Tuesday! Crazy!
This is my entry for the Chicoptia 10 contest:
As I’m moving out of the nest and onto a life and place of my own, I’m slowly putting back the pieces of my shattered self-image from a rough childhood and adolescence, and Chictopia has greatly sped up this process.
I think I was in sixth grade when my parents started calling me fat on a daily basis and started cutting my food portions so that I would lose weight. To this day, I’m terrified of going on the scale because of too many traumatized experiences of gaining weight and getting punished. I used to take laxatives and would starve myself days before the weekly-weigh-in with my parents. Obviously, I haven’t lost any weight due to their tactics, but with this new year, I’m determined to leave this tragedy behind me. I’m tired of being the victim in my own life. I’ll be graduating from college and moving on to the real world, where as much as we don’t like to admit it, appearance does matter, especially since I want to go into the field of photography. On the top of my new year’s resolutions is to lose weight. I was always one of the biggest girls in my circle of friends and would loathe shopping because I’d be grabbing Ms while they grabbed their XS, S, and size 0s. It was so traumatizing.
As much as I’d like to be that girl who is all for chic-big girls (you CAN be chic no matter your size), I do feel like I’m in the wrong body. I am pretty content with myself though, and thanks to all your encouragement and inspiring outfits, have managed to develop a style that is my own and suits who I am and my body type. Like in my group, I was so intimidated by all the could-be-supermodels in this community with the long, lean legs. But ever since I started posting, you girls have nothing been supportive of me, and my style has evolved and is still evolving exponentially from my first post. I’m still at a disbelief that I have gained over 100 fans now and countless number of friends.
Now those skinny beezys in my group look to me for fashion inspiration. My obsessions set off ripples: cardigans, headbands, tights, bows, etc. And it’s all thanks to you amazing, beautiful girls who inspire and encourage me to be the chicest I can be. I can’t thank you enough for all the sweet comments you give. Each mean so much to me, and I feel like each put a small piece of my self-esteem back into place. Also if it weren’t for many of you, I would not have started a blog and probably wouldn’t be going after my dream of becoming a wedding photographer. I really really wish I could meet many of you in person to get to know you more and thank you in person.
Even though I probably won’t win this Chictopia 10 contest, it is the perfect opportunity to say how much you all have done for me without looking too sappy or sentimental. Thank you again for everything :) I know I am not posting as often, but after this quarter, my schedule will be better and I’ll go back to posting almost daily.
With a loooooooooot of love and gratitude,