The past 5 days have been a blur- I have basically been floating day after day. Each new day, brings forth a new problem and a sad goodbye.
As you all know my very good friend, MACKY, died at the young age of 23 years old. The grief was severe and I cannot begin to even describe how it is to lose a friend, who you just saw with so much life and potential. I was very sad and distressed by the news of his death.
But then, another problem comes in storming…. this time about ‘good byes’ which are always so sad especially if you’re ALWAYS THE ONE BEING LEFT BEHIND…
The night I wore this, was the night I had penciled in honor of my good friend and La Salle lunch buddy, LYCA, who told us weeks in advance to save the date for her. She’ll be leaving for Australia this December and it was indeed the sweetest goodbye at SUITE (formerly known as Embassy Cuisine) where me and my friends gathered to send her off, to remember Macky’s life and of course, to celebrate the fact that we were all finally together. Goodbye’s are NEVER easy. And I must say, Lyca not being here would mean that it’s officially the END OF AN ERA.
The next day, to my dismay, I had to say goodbye to another important person in my life… my maid/ yaya for 13 years, ESTRELLA. She went on a day off and never returned. When we checked her closets, it was clean and swiped out like she was never even there. Apparently she had a boyfriend and was getting married. I am happy for her but at the same time, I feel totally betrayed since she just threw out 13 years and didn’t even think we deserved a chance to know her plans and prepare. So she left me, sick, depressed and helpless.
STAGE 2: ANGER.
Last night I was so angry that life wouldn’t cut me some slack and allow me to mourn the loss of two friends, that I also had to lose someone I basically treated as family as well. I don’t know why THIS IS ALL HAPPENING 5 days before Christmas but until I’m sure the tidal wave of bad luck has moved on to a more capable and less fragile victim, I am locking myself in my bed and staying there.
I don’t know how I was able to survive it all… at one point I blacked out and suffered a minor nervous breakdown since the weight of all these issues was too much to bear for my already very fragile and defective heart. I wasn’t even unable to attend Rosanna’s New Year’s Inquirer shoot since I was mourning nonstop.
But in one week I lost three very important people in my life…my DOROTA (pardon the GG reference), my MANEUVER and my GREAT FRIEND, how can anyone deal with that?
Why must all goods things come to an end?
*Note: I wore this even if this was supposed to be my new years dress since I was soooo majorly depressed and wanted to walk away from all my problems which poured in when 2009 was about to end. And i thought it was going to be a good year…:( Sigh.