Comments
I definitely love post with substance. I try my hardest to inspire those in what I write but I feel like that has yet to happen. This is so true, I dont know how many times someone has complimented an outfit im wearing like this. I used to take it to heart but now im getting over it. thank you for your amazing words.
as for the backhanded compliments the best way to react i think is a smile to these people a smile of happiness and fullfillness because that's something that an evil person can't handle!
I remember writing about how great this site is, i still feel that. i dedicate hours and hours everyday to this site, i used to have coffee and cigarette right after i wake up, now i have chictopia for breakfast. I abandoned my Myspace and facebook etc for Chictopia, i still have faith in this site even if there are bad neighbors. And about ur top, i have it in 3 colors!!! =)
I just received one recently: "Is this your fave top? Oh well..." Hahahaha! So funny! As if you can't repeat your own clothes. I'm not a queen. And you said it really well: they're just JEALOUS.
great post!! you write so well! i especially love the part about washing out the bad taste with ice cream rather than toothpaste. gorgeous look, as always :)
Thanks for addressing this! I've received my share of these backhanded compliments, but without knowing it, I feel like I've given out a few too on accident. Of course I never mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but sometimes I guess what I'm trying to say comes out rudely without meaning to. But thanks again for addressing this because it really makes me more aware of what I'm typing!
ooohhh.. i get them too (not in chictopia though), but in real life.. and i try to just dont mind them!!! you're quite right in saying they're a bit bitter in giving those out. great post! i like how you're able to handle not just mere fashion photos here in chictopia, but also quality posting.. :D
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Most of us have probably received a backhanded compliment or two even if never noticed and most of us have certainly delivered some as well. What does a backhanded compliment sound like? Well, it sounds something like this “Oh how cute, you flip through magazines for inspiration! I usually look to historic novels”, or how about this one, “I hate crop tops they’re so ugly they make people look pregnant, but it’s ok b/c you’re skinny”. Even better is this one, that I, myself, delivered to an unsuspecting friend, “Oh yeah? A trip to Costa Rica sounds great, if you like that sort of thing”. I mean really? Who doesn’t like that sort of thing? I’d give up my new Jeffrey Campbell 99 zip wedge for a trip anywhere right about now.
A backhanded compliment is nothing but a hate comment in disguise and underdeveloped. It sounds like it’s going to build you up but in the end just brings you down. It’s not an outright criticism but neither is it praise, it’s almost demeaning in it’s ambiguity. Sometimes there is nothing personally insulting in the statement itself, at times it’s even flattering, but it just doesn’t sit right. Once received, a backhanded compliment leaves a bad taste in your mouth that is easier removed with ice cream than toothpaste. An underlining tone of bitterness can be found in any backhanded compliment and at the heart of that bitterness lives jealousy. Jealousy, more often than not, is the main culprit behind mean-spirited comments and backhanded compliments. Jealousy incites the person to react, to squash their own feelings of inadequacy by pointing out the inadequacies of another. It is this jealousy that we must learn to recognize in ourselves, to avoid hurting people, and in others, to understand why they hurt us.
Here at chictopia we work very hard to create a supportive and welcoming community. We delete any and all mean, rude, or offensive comments in an effort to facilitate open discussions and constructive criticism.
I get these types of messages and comments all the time, I never take them to heart and I hope none of you do either.
Thanks for reading my mini rant,
Playingwithfire
