Procrastineating

Updated on Nov 11, 2015
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Food speaks to the mind as shoes speak to the heart. Why is it that I find myself in constant inner battle over whether or not that extra piece of chocolate or that too-many euro’s cheesecake is worth it? I am in constant questioning whether that extra scoop of pasta is worthy of being allowed to stay on my hips, as if it were an unwanted noisy guest in a quiet summer beachhouse. I must admit that I do have some unwanted guests living on the soft spots of my body, remains of the battles I’ve lost with my stomach telling me that food is the holy source of happiness. Battles over which I feel a great guilt, as I’ve yet again let myself go to indulge in the great wonders this earth has to offer.
We are told to feel confident. To love ourselves. To love our bodies. And yet, a
great guilt is placed upon those who dare to put something other than a bunch of kale chips, quinoa salad or goiji berries in their mouths.
The mind -and the stomach- boggles.

This duality is the source of all my frustration and carefully picked-out eating habits that turn into unhealthy decisions after an hour and a half of staring at the kitchen and restraining oneself to not attack the room with the power of the US nation’s army – which undoubtly happens every time anyway. This results in a mood I can only describe as being hangry; hungry for all the food in the world and angry for all the guilt the world puts on this poor girl. The decisions don’t come easy. Nor does the lessening of the workload. Au contraire.

I don’t procrastinate. I procrastineat.
Hence the failure of being able to write. Lately I’ve been feeling like I have to maintain a second job. Lately I’ve been so hungry that I sprint to the kitchen for another bite after leaving the lunchtable a mere halfhour ago. It has come so far that I don’t even want to look like the girl on the picture anymore if that means I have to give up eating. The girl in the size zero smiling like she actually loves her kale chips proclaims the old-age adage of ”nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. Has she even tasted a cupcake? Nothing tastes as good as a cupcake feels in your mouth, girl. Don’t procrastineat. Eat the damn cake.

Ps: while writing this post I’ve thought about food approximately seven times.

Comments (2)

CarportsBrisbane
CarportsBrisbane on December 03
so nice
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