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dciree
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dciree
posts: 95

they were abusive physically and some other way. My mom won’t get a divorce cause she is concerned what others would think.

My mom has been begging me to move back in or else she “will get hit by a car, get cancer, maybe even die. and time is running out”. When she tells me those abuse aren’t going on anymore, I’m usually “tricked” back home only to find me having to be the go between her and my dad to fix their problems. She has threatened me with suicide lest I tell anyone about the abuse going on the entire time I was growing up. She always said she would kill me and my brother “if she didn’t have to go to jail for it” while we were growing up, She also said “living it too tiring, I want to die” while we were growing up. When I was 18, she attempted to kill me and herself at the same time so she would have a partner. I called the suicide hotline and they said they can’t commit her to a mental hospital without her consent cause there was “no real harm done.” I am angry at what she does. I can’t fall asleep at night. I suppose if I use her line of logic on her, I can say “if I go back I will get cancer, get hit by a car, or die”. Or “If you say this to me, I will get cancer, get hit by a car, or die”. She said the same thing about me not moving in when my grandmother was sick (she is 94). She doesn’t live with us, and she has 32 grandchildren. She doesn’t remember who anyone is anymore :T But my mom still wants to put it on me that if she dies it’s because I didn’t move back in.
posted about 2 years ago
mercik
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mercik
posts: 211

First of all I want to give you HUGE ((hugs))
And credit for enduring a life long life of pain and emotional agony.

You seem to be divided about what to do even though you KNOW your mom is emotionally unstable and toxic.

She’s BRAINWASHED U AND USED ANY EMOTIONS IN U TO WHEEL U IN.

DO NOT GO BACK HOME.

IF SHE KILLS HERSELF ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.

PLEASE DISCUSS THIS WITH A THERAPIST.
THEY WILL REAFFIRM THAT U SHOULDN’T BE IN THAT SITUATION.

LOVE AND HEALTH TO U.
FRIEND ME AND WE CAN TALK ANY TIME.

posted about 2 years ago
 
catiebeatty
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catiebeatty
posts: 1333

I have a friend who has a very similar, very complicated relationship with her family. Please don’t feel that you’re alone. There are people who understand and there are people who can help. I would look into finding a therapist or counselor who you can talk with. They will not pressure you into doing anything, but it’s always helpful to have someone to talk to about tough things.

I’m not a professional, but my best advice would be to cut ties with your family. Moving out was a good first step. Your mom may love you, but she shows it in a very strange way. For your own health and happiness, you should distance yourself until your mom gets help. Your mom is very unhappy, but it’s not your fault or your responsibility.

My grandmother is very manipulative and my mom had to cut ties for a while. They’ve finally started making peace with each other, but it’s taken a long while.

Be patient, don’t lose hope, and remember that sometimes hard things are for the best.

posted about 2 years ago
 
AksharTroublesome
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AksharTroubl...
posts: 181

you’re responsible for what you do honey, not for what others do.
you’re responsible for your own feelings, not the feeling felt by others.
you can be run over by a car, or god knows what else, no matter where we live – this is not a proper excuse to convince somebody to move to a place where they dont feel safe.
if you want to talk to somebody, i have the same username on Facebook – i’ll see your message there much faster than here.

posted almost 2 years ago
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