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talkanatalka
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talkanatalka
posts: 38

so i have a birthday coming up, and while i love my bf and he’s a super-sweet guy, he’s pretty clueless about gift giving. i’m not in the relationship for the gifts, but he always tends to ask me what i want and of course i won’t be able to come up with anything! (typical) plus, i feel bad saying anything specific if i can think of it, but at the same time i don’t really need another cookbook or box of chocolates or whatever and feel bad having him spend money on those things.

anyway i know there are lots of online wish list services (i have an amazon one that i mainly just use to keep track of books to buy) but i don’t quite have the balls to just send him a link saying, “hey, this is what i want!” we’re not in it for the gifts but it is quite nice to have someone notice you’re coveting, say, a new purse but won’t buckle down and buy it for yourself.

what do you think about sending wishlists to boyfriends/family/whoever? is it tacky? smart? (especially in this economy when saving money could be really nice?) have you done it? refuse to? what’s a nice way to ease into that or bring it up? i’m curious because my friends and family aren’t the most computer savvy and haven’t gotten into this yet!

thanks :) x

posted over 4 years ago
ClothesHorse
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ClothesHorse
posts: 250

If it’s for a reason (birthday/holiday) I think it’s smart. Honestly, it is what my entire family does. We never get each other “nice” generic things; its always an item they specifically asked for. Not very romantic/no surprises, but you never get people things they don’t want.

posted over 4 years ago
 
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thefieldsofe...
posts: 170

If others go ahead and ask you what you want, then I think it’s fine to send a wishlist (provided nothing on it is too expensive). You could bring it up as a suggestion — “Oh, I found some really beautiful/neat things on ___ website. Do you want to see them?” I think if you show genuine excitement about something(s) you’re coveting, then other people would be happy to get it for you. My sister and I forward each other our wishlists, because our tastes are so different that we’re clueless when it comes to gift-giving. :)

posted over 4 years ago
 
PeachyPanda
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PeachyPanda
posts: 789

its fine. if he really is as clueless as you say, i think he would be more than happy that you are helping him. saves him from getting you something that you don’t even like, plus he’ll know that he’s made you happy!

posted over 4 years ago
 
bauss
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bauss
posts: 79

I think it’s a fine idea… I do it myself. My parents are fobby Asians and used to get me ugly itchy knit sweaters every Christmas and they’d get mad if I told them I didn’t like it! Since I started making a wishlist, I’ve gotten exactly what I’ve wanted.

posted over 4 years ago
 
minimalistpanda
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minimalistpanda
posts: 173

i think it’s a good idea to send a wishlist
because he might be afraid that you won’t like the gift he gives you
if he were to pick it out himself
if you send him the wishlist
that doubt will be completely gone
and he still has a choice on which item to give you

posted over 4 years ago
 
anli
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anli
posts: 39

Personally, I’d feel awkward sending wishlists, but it sounds like your boyfriend would appreciate the help. Usually my family members ask me what I want, and I request more practical items; my friends and I give each other thoughtful little gifts (hey, we’re poor students; all we can go by is how well we know each other and each other’s tastes/desires).

posted over 4 years ago
 
splashofcolour
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splashofcolour
posts: 1241

Personally, I would feel a bit offended if someone gave me a wishlist and said ‘hey, get me one of the things on that list’ because you’re insulting their ability to choose something that they think you’d like. Though I think it’s ok to hint at something general and then let the buyer have free reign on the specifics so that some thought of theirs is there.

If you’re that specific on what you want, then ask people to take you out shopping instead, at least that way they can have some involvement and opinion on what they’re buying and you get what you want.

posted over 4 years ago
 
puddingandpie
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puddingandpie
posts: 33

I grew up with wishlists (first to Santa, then to my parents). I don’t think it’s tacky because it takes a lot of the stress out of gift buying! As long as you’re not mad if he gives you something different, it’s fine. But I would only give one if the person asked for it or told you they were having trouble finding something.

posted over 4 years ago
 
justthezipcode
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justthezipcode
posts: 19

i love sending wish lists to my mom, but usually i pick way more things then i know i will get so that my mom can have some freedom too, and by the time Christmas or my birthday comes around i’ve completely forgotten what i picked out and am pleasantly surprised!

posted over 4 years ago
 
SeekingStyle
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SeekingStyle
posts: 337

It’s not tacky if he asks you what you want. When he asks you, say you have an on going amazon wish list and he can choose from anything on there, then you’ll still be surprised.

posted over 4 years ago
 
browneyes
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browneyes
posts: 2372

Maybe it’s just me but i find it rude

posted over 4 years ago
 
AsianGoddess1610
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AsianGoddess...
posts: 192

i would for my family because i dont want them to spend money on things i wont use.

but a boyfriend…thats a bit rude. you should be thankful to them if they even bought you a present ( they should, of course, but you dont want to come off as a person who MUST have presents)

posted over 4 years ago
 
knittingwnoodles
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knittingwnoo...
posts: 51

I do for my family, only. But I guess if someone close to me asked me what I wanted I’d give them my wish list.

posted over 4 years ago
 
camerakind
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camerakind
posts: 117

Well I think ALL girls can relate to your situation. But for Christmas my boyfriend and I went into my favorite store-Forever 21 so he can buy me a few clothing pieces I liked. This all worked out in the end cuz I also got him seasons of his favorite shows that he chose for his gift. I’m not sure how we came to this agreement to buy each other stuff like that but I guess you know how the convos go:::

boy:what do you want for your birthday?
girl:oh, idk Ill love whatever you get me
boy:…..what do you want?
girl:well I did see some (insert items here) that I liked the other day
boy:what is it called OR how does it look?
girl:((go into detail-itll make him think hell buy the wrong item!! lol)
boy:ohhh
girl:I can help you pick it out **insert huge smile
boy:(relieve sweeps over him)

LOL, its pretty much true tho and it will prolly go that way to be honest

I mean guys dont wana buy us bad gifts and out typical ansers will get him no where so this will def make both of yall happy
:)

and about families..Im sure it will work well w immediate families but only if you verbalize it to them like for instance if you do want a book jokingly mention it a few days or whatever before the big day. you know like “Soooo, there is THIS book that I reeeeally want” **does obvious wink, itll be sure to bring out a convo on the item and it wont be so bad I promise!

and distant families im not so sure on how you can go about it

I hoped i helped in some way:)

posted over 4 years ago
 
PrincessFero
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PrincessFero
posts: 136

hmm it can easily go both ways. it depends how badly you want something.

posted over 4 years ago
 
MurasakiNeko
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MurasakiNeko
posts: 1057

I feel like some people like wish lists and some people don’t, and I think a lot of it has to do with what you were raised on.

For instance, in my family wishlists were totally okay. Each year at Christmas or around my birthday my parents would ask me what I wanted and would then send out the word to relatives. As I got older, I became in charge of making and passing on my wishlists. In fact, my relatives usually got annoyed if I didn’t have a specific list to hand to them! I enjoy working off a list, too, because you know that what you’re getting is something they really want.

But the people in my family always asked for wishlists, and so I can see how giving a wishlist to someone when they haven’t asked can seem presumptuous.

I think the question of wishlists might be a good thing to bring up with your partner when neither one of you has a birthday (or Christmas/other gift-giving holiday) coming up so you can get on the same page about what each of you thinks is polite. You might just have to come out and say it: “What do you think of wishlists?” Don’t criticize any gifts from the past and make it clear it’s not that you don’t trust his taste— just explain your practical reason that you’re sure you’d both rather get things you really want. If you have a mature and communicative relationship, it shouldn’t be too awkward of a conversation to have.

Even if he’s never thought of using wishlists before, he might be really relieved to know his gift-hunting can be a million times easier!

posted over 4 years ago
 
loveonthebackseat
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loveonthebac...
posts: 113

On the one hand I think it’s a good idea because then you get what you really. But one the other hand it’s a lot more difficult for the birthdaygirl or boy to make a list like that, because I always have a hard time trying to figure out what I really want for my birthday. The other thing that sucks about wislists is that you already know what you’re gonna get, so it’s not a suprise anymore, that kinda bugs me :p

posted over 4 years ago
 
EveyHoneysuckle
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EveyHoneysuckle
posts: 920

I send wishlists to people. For my last birthday, I told them that no matter what gift they get me, if they also have a pack of Skittles, it’ll make up for it if I was NOT to like the present. I liked everything I got from people, but I also got Skittles so it was a win/win.

I do it because I don’t want to make someone feel bad that I dislike their presents (I’m incredibly picky).

posted over 4 years ago
 
MesmericOutsider
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MesmericOuts...
posts: 37

depends on the family members haha, don’t send them to cheap ones cuz you know, you’re just not gonna get anything..

I’m the youngest kid in my family so it’s a fab idea for me ;)

posted over 4 years ago
 
lethappinessgrow
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lethappiness...
posts: 622

I think it’s a good idea, as long as the stuff on your wish list is reasonable!
This is actually a good idea! I’ve never done it, but I think it’d better, and might give your family/friends a good idea on what to get you.

posted over 4 years ago
 
JUKILOVE
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JUKILOVE
posts: 371

I think it depends on the relationship. A wishlist may be easy but not quite the most polite. Maybe just bringing items up in conversation would be better. But again if your relationship is very open and blunt, then go for the wishlist.

posted over 4 years ago
 
etceteraism
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etceteraism
posts: 28

What my mom usually does is take me shopping and I try things on and show her what I like, then I go off to have a coffee or something and she buys what SHE likes out of that bunch. So she knows I will like everything I get, but there’s still a bit of surprise.

Maybe you could do that with your boyfriend?

posted over 4 years ago
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