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ToothFairyy
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ToothFairyy
posts: 18

do you forgive a cheater and try to move on and continue building a strong relationship, or do you walk away?

posted over 4 years ago
MurasakiNeko
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MurasakiNeko
posts: 1057

It depends on the circumstances of the cheating. I can accept there are instances where cheating really is a one-time mistake— and the person learns from the mistake, never wants to do it again, and finds ways to keep from cheating in the future. But unfortunately most of the time cheating is because of selfishness and immaturity, and you cannot build a lasting relationship with someone who isn’t strong enough for it, no matter how hard you try.

I think it’s worth it to try to work through cheating if the relationship is long-term and has been through a lot, such as if you’re married or have been dating exclusively for years. But if a guy/girl cheats on you after less than a year, you’re better off just getting rid of him/her. At the very least, walk away until they get themselves together and prove themselves to have changed. It’s just not worth the grief to have them keep hurting you over and over again as they learn.

And fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Do not accept someone cheating on you twice.

posted over 4 years ago
 
PrincessFero
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PrincessFero
posts: 136

hmm i feel like if they cheat leave because that trust is broken. but then its easier to give advise than to receive.

posted over 4 years ago
 
lethappinessgrow
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lethappiness...
posts: 622

i guess it depends on the circumstance…how did they cheat? lk did they kiss someone, have sex w someone?? how long have you guys been together?

idk what i would do! i think it would be really hard for me to forgive someone if they cheated on me, cuz I don’t see a point to cheating! if youre not happy w someone and have the urge to cheat, just let them go!! I’m sure people change, esp if they really want the relationship to work out, but it’ll just be super hard to gain the trust back!

posted over 4 years ago
 
heck
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heck
posts: 172

I’m don’t trust cheaters, and I wouldn’t forgive them if I was cheated on.

posted over 4 years ago
 
tayzsialynn
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tayzsialynn
posts: 22

i feel that of course automatically in your head you think “leave him” i mean thats what i think, but then again… the one thing u always end up listening to is your heart. so my advice is listen to your heart, and with this kind of situation i feel u can only listen to urself because in the end thats what you’ll end up doing. everything happens for a reason… hope this helps…

posted over 4 years ago
 
alice_said
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alice_said
posts: 21

My boyfriend cheated on me ages ago, we tried to stay together, but trust just wasn’t there, so we broke up. He then got a new girlfriend and cheated on her… and now he is back with me. I think everyone has the ability to cheat ONCE, it is when someone is having a whole relationship behind your back.

I think it is down to the relationship, it can either break you, or build you up stronger.

posted over 4 years ago
 
splashofcolour
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splashofcolour
posts: 1241

I would definetly leave because obviously the love isn’t really there and the relationship doesn’t mean enough to someone if they can willing go out and cheat. It’s not even about the trust to me, I think if you love someone enough then the thought shouldn’t even cross your mind and if it does then you should reassess the relationship that you’re in.

posted over 4 years ago
 
ennui
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ennui
posts: 14

“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” :-)

No but really, look at it this way, if he really loved you he wouldn’t have cheated on you in the first place. Even though people can change for the better, it’s usually not the case. I think it’s weak.

posted over 4 years ago
 
JessFalkinder
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JessFalkinder
posts: 13

its tough – from my experience with a cheating boyfriend of 3 years is it just doesnt work if you try to stay together. I never trusted him again. I ended it after another month. I agree with ennui – if he does love and respect you – he wouldn’t have done it.

posted over 4 years ago
 
GlammcouturE
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GlammcouturE
posts: 824

I think even if he were to change completely highly unlikely but if ih did, it would be so hard because you couldn’t trust him.

and I agree with ennui and JessFalkinder…
if he really loved you and wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t have done it in the first place.

posted over 4 years ago
 
boredstephanie
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boredstephanie
posts: 1309

I don’t think if they cheated once, they will definitely cheat again. HOWEVER, there is a big chance they will. Even if they don’t, I wouldn’t be able to trust someone who did that to me anymore which defeats the purpose of a relationship

posted over 3 years ago
 
tightsenthusiast
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tightsenthus...
posts: 254

I think you should definitely have some space before trying to make the relationship work… he has to figure things out and what he’s done in order to really change, and he can only do that if he’s alone.

It’s okay to wait on a relationship :) if it’s meant to be, it will be. Two people who truly care for each other can wait to start a relationship. If he doesn’t wait for you, then he’s not worth it.

posted over 3 years ago
 
birdandtree
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birdandtree
posts: 19

I think it is kind of situational….sometimes it works out sometimes it doesn’t. No one knows the person better than you (probably) or at least you are one of the closest people to them so you know whether or not (in your heart) whether it is possible or not. Do cheaters change? Yeah I think so, rarely, but some do. Good luck my friend! It is so very tough to go through.

http://www.bluebirdandtree.blogspot.com/

posted over 3 years ago
 
andreamq
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andreamq
posts: 111

I think that it is so disgusting for people to cheat!

posted over 3 years ago
 
imsilly
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imsilly
posts: 30

If he is dumb enough to confess or get caught then dump them.

Also men tend to cheat when they are bored or frustrated. Most of the time it’s just a stupid mistake and you can bet many more men get away with it then get caught. Though there are total man-whores, but usually people aren’t stupid enough to get into a relationship with men like that in the first place. A lot the time you can prevent cheating by just being more pro-active in your relationship.

posted over 3 years ago
 
rhemel
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rhemel
posts: 3634

Walk away of course! Once a cheater always a cheater!

posted over 3 years ago
 
KaylaMeow
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KaylaMeow
posts: 4091

it depends on the situation, i say give it a try first, then if things doesnt get better, break up !

posted over 3 years ago
 
Lauralai
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Lauralai
posts: 125

I feel like once someone has strayed it’s typically hard to gain back trust. Don’t get me wrong I think people can indeed make “mistakes”, but the hard part about the whole concept of infidelity is making a choice to stay or go. Trust me, I was in a tarnished relationship with a “cheater” and you have to be true to yourself and realize the beauty of actually lettting go. It took me a while to realize you can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice.

But you have to look at the positives of everything – after all forgiving isn’t forgetting you’ve been hurt, it’s learning to be a better person from the hurt you’ve felt and a reminder to not hurt someone else.

posted over 3 years ago
 
opfiend
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opfiend
posts: 633

It’s definitely a sign of a relationship being over. I look at it as, if someone cheats the relationship is not right. I wouldn’t stay with a cheater and I wouldn’t expect someone to stay with me if I cheated.

posted over 3 years ago
 
Petrakieva
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Petrakieva
posts: 355

It depends. If he got drunk with some friends in a bar… well… I will forgive him, everybody makes mistakes. But if it happens again… well I’ll walk away… probably.

posted over 3 years ago
 
destineddiva93
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destineddiva93
posts: 242

idk i think it depends on the person

posted over 3 years ago
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