boys nowadays like it when you take control. be direct but let him chase you too. you should let him know that you want to get to know him better but being too stalkerish is no good.
it may take him a long time to realize things but keep at it! my best and current relationship has been the product of me asking out the guy i like instead of sitting like a waiting duckposted about 6 years ago
once i told to one guy that i like him (before we were friends about one year) but he answered that he likes me too but just as a friend… well it was hard to hear it but at least he was honest… i can suggest you to tell him about your feelings tet-a-tet but only if you are really ready to hear both answers (if he likes you or not)..
Hope everything will be fine and you’ll not suffer!!
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jersey, you just worked wonders words. you stole everything i was going to say :P i third the movement!posted about 6 years ago
If you’re not close with him, I’m not sure how you can love him, so definitely do not tell him that. If you do have a crush on him, I see no problem in trying to become closer to him; I don’t think you have to forget about it like Jersey said… but I wouldn’t go about it in a big way. Just try and hang out with him more. There’s no need to confess love (or like) before you get to know him more; that’s kind of weird for anyone to hear if they don’t know that person well.
And sending him a card is fine, but just do it from you, not from everyone in the school.posted about 6 years ago
I have to some extent the same problem as you, expect for the fact that after we’d kissed a few times, I took the plunge and told the boy I like, lets call him Harry, that I liked him. He replied that he really liked me too, but didn’t want a girlfriend because he was going to university in a few months. I thought this was a reasonable explanation, because it is on the other side of the country, but I was still gutted!
Even though what he had should have ended there, we ended up going away for the weekend, with a huge group of our mutual friends for someone birthday, but me and ‘harry’ ended up spending the whole time together. I’m not actually the type of girl who sleeps around, well I’m definitely not, but I really liked him and after him saying he would make an effort with me, I ended up doing stuff with him, not sex, but stuff none the less. After we got back he didn’t make an effort with it, and it’s been 4 months and other than one night when I saw him on a night out we have hardly spoken.
On that night it was about a month after ‘that night away’, and he came up to me and we ended up kissing. and we were sat down and then I just thought what he’d put me through, so I said to him ‘harry, you have to decide what you want, I can’t be this girl, I like you too much’ and he was like ‘ohhhh I really, really like you you just don’t understand, I didn’t try to communicate with you because I don’t want to be in a relationship which isn’t fair me leading you on like that’. At this point I really harry wasn’t the right person, because if he was he’d of jumped at the chance to make an effort with me! After that night I could count on one hand how many times I’ve spoken to him, it’s been 3 months now. It’s hurts whenever I see him, I won’t lie, but the strength I felt then and still now and the pride I have for believing in myself is massive.
My point is, analysis what you think he’d want out of your relationship with him, and also know what you want and how long your willing to wait, what I didn’t write in my story up there is that from when we first started ‘having a thing’ to when I ended it, it was over a year, which at my age (i’m 17 now) is a long time to waste on an arsehole!
So, think about what you want and what you think he would want, and try to develop a relationship with him first before jumping in at the deep end, rejection is the worst feeling ever and I’d hate for anyone to have to go through it. Also, don’t use the word love, I always think that love is a very strong word and should only be used when it’s a definite on both people in the relationship.
Good luck and please tell me how it goes xoposted about 6 years ago
I think there’s so many stories that seem similar, when in reality, they might not have been. Anyway, I have my own, which I’ll share.
So, freshman year (two years ago), there was this attractive boy I’d see frequently in the hallways. He was a junior, so I didn’t have any classes with him, but I realized he was in my lunch period. In the second semester, the amount of people in the lunch period drastically dropped, and he and a couple of his friends would come over to my table. I developed a secret crush, and I’d write about him in my journal under the name “credit rush” (C redit RUSH? get it? neither do I.)… so basically, it’s not that there was noticeable chemistry, but we’d been talking a little bit about concerts and it was suggested that we should go to one together.
School ended, I saw him at a party over the summer. School started, and he was a senior. I incidentally walked behind him (most days) on my way to my first class, and towards the end of the year, I decided I would be pissed at myself if I didn’t take the opportunity to try to talk to him. I approached him and asked about some concert, but he wasn’t going. I left it at that, saw him during the summer at a party where I would have approached him, but I was with some other guy, ironically his good friend.
Keep in mind that I’d never really hung out with him and I wasn’t really sure that he knew who I was. I had a get together at my house, and I jokingly told my friend to invite him – and I invited some other friends, who ended up bringing him just because. Again, I decided I’d be pissed if I didn’t take the opportunity, so I told him I thought he was really attractive and that… well, I don’t quite remember because I was under the influence.
We started hanging out the following week, and it was/is basically no more than a booty call for the both of us. I actually ended up being pretty into him – I expected him to be a jerk and not easy to talk to, but of course, I ended up getting a little attached.
My story hasn’t quite ended yet – but I’m not expecting some magical fairy tale ending, nor was I in the first place. I even doubted that I wanted anything to happen, and that I just wanted to release those feelings.
I consider myself to be extremely socially awkward, but I went for it, whatever “it” was. I personally wouldn’t recommend a card from the whole school, but even an individual card might get the message across. I suppose his birthday has passed by now, but that’s not your only “opportunity.” It’s interesting when people take initiative… hope all goes well.posted about 6 years ago
Well it sounds like to me that you are young and its good that you are ready for the outcome. I had a similar situation but I never told him for years… I had a crush on him for probably all through High School and two years of college. I wish I would of told him way before I eventually did. Simply because it broke my heart that he didn’t like me the way I liked him.
You should definitely get your feelings out. Don’t take it to heart if he doesn’t like you that way. There is other fish in the sea. Trust me, the right guy for you is right around the corner! I know I found mine soon as I let go ;)
I’ll come at this from probably the only angle that matters, a man’s.
Men love women who are straight forward. There is nothing wrong with being open and upfront. There is no man in the world who would think any less, or be any less likely to have a relationship with you just because you initiated it. In fact it makes it all the more likely. Maybe not a first, but then rarely in love do things get off to a steady start. Men may like to make the important move, but they will always prefer to know they’d be successful. I know from personal experience the girls men like the most are usually those they are most distant from because they might feel it’s to risky to get close or just plain intimidated. There is nothing more intimidating in the world to a fully grown man then an attractive girl who you aren’t quite sure thinks they’re attractive. On the other hand the same girl if you know they like you is like catnip!
Also I have had moments when women have done things a little crazy like jump into my bed or get naked infront of me when they have totally misread the situation. Even that didn’t make me think, “oh dear god I hope I don’t ever have to see them again.” At the very least it was a little bit flattering in an awkward kind of way. Even made me feel a little guilty for knocking them back. I have friends who have healthy relationships built around that kind of guilt as a motivating factor.
The only thing men do not like, is being bullied, bossed around or having demands made of them. Women’s and men’s outlooks on relationships is vastly different. The largest difference is in how far ahead they plan. Men on the whole don’t really care what is happening tommorrow. I more vulgar terms most men are only thinking about their next mean and their next erection. They are far more pragmatic then women when it comes to relationship. Unless a guy says he wants a relationship to be more serious then in is he doesn’t. The women who are best in relationships are those who learn how to conquer the brinksmanship between breaking up and getting married.
No man actually gets excited by the idea of marriage. Kids maybe, buying a car or a house together, even getting matching towels, but marriage never. Men only get married if they have to. Sometimes women obsess so much about the event it just drives men away. Be happy with a proper relationship and not a ring.posted about 6 years ago