I would be disappointed. I love children and have already picked out a name for my future son or daughter.posted over 3 years ago
I think people continually evolve with experience and time, so there might be a liittle room for plasticity. I don’t want kids, but I’m not adamant about that, and I may change my mind later on.posted over 3 years ago
I didn’t want kids when I met my partner. Neither did he. Now we both want children one day.
People change. Sometimes people need to make compromises. Sometimes neither person is willing to budge and the relationship has to come to an end.posted over 3 years ago
I agree-most young people, especially guys, don’t want kids, but then change their mind later on.
Personally, I’d be happy-I really don’t care to have kids!posted over 3 years ago
no like so much…but is different in every person. must important is the personality.posted over 3 years ago
I think I would be disapointed, but it wouldn’t mean I’d want to end the relationship. Life changes and people sometimes change what they want in it, so who knows? I don’t plan on having kids for a long time anyhow ;)posted over 3 years ago
Happy! And that’s something I think should be discussed before the relationship gets serious. With my previous boyfriend, I was upfront from the very beginning about not wanting kids. I wish HE had been upfront about his future plans. :-/ Part of the reason we broke up after 2.5 years was that he wanted to have kids one day and I didn’t. Even though he was willing to sacrifice that for me, I felt like it would be selfish of me to allow him to, and he could be happier with someone else if I let him go. It was incredibly painful and it could have been avoided if we got all that out in the open at the beginning.
Some people are saying that it’s not necessarily a deal breaker, and people can change their mind. While this is true, I still don’t believe you should begin a relationship unless you’re already on the same page. Because if you change your mind while in the relationship, you’re probably not doing it because it’s what you really want. You’re doing it to salvage the relationship, and could end up resenting your partner years down the road for the sacrifice you made.
I mean, picture it the other way around… Everyone is eager to try to change someone’s mind if they say they don’t want kids (which is VERY annoying to us). But imagine if someone who didn’t want kids tried to convince their partner who did want kids, that they really didn’t want kids. Most people would think that person was selfish. If their partner gave in, most people would think it was tragic that they missed out on the joy of parenthood. Well, it goes both ways. Expecting someone to give up the future they want is just as bad as expecting someone to give up parenthood.
Another problem is, if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and neither of you has changed your mind, at what point do you decide to give up? Is that a decision you want to have to make in the first place? And by the time you do break it off, the person who wants kids might have a harder time finding someone to start a family with. The older you are, the harder it becomes to find people to date who aren’t already married or with children. There’s a lot to consider.
Sorry this turned out to be such a long answer to a simple question. :P It’s just something I’ve had to give a lot of thought to. My current boyfriend doesn’t want kids, thank goodness…posted over 3 years ago