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posts: 1120

When it comes to dating, as a sixteen year old woman, how old does a guy have to be for you to draw the line?

this stems from my being in love with a very sweet guy who is almost exactly three years older than me, and my mother refuses to even get to know him because of his age. I’m not allowed to see him, and she suffers in silence when it comes to me talking to him.

He and I have similar mind frames, and values, and needs, and our plans for life fit together quite nicely. I date other people casually, though I have been in love for almost a year and a half, and find myself wanting to be with him more and more lately.

So I’m asking for personal advice on this, from ladies (or guys, even) who have had similar experiences…

posted about 4 years ago
1 2
EatItBeatIt
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EatItBeatIt
posts: 63

For me, it’s never “too old”. It’s “too young”.

I do not understand why someone who should be graduating from College or University soon has any business messing with someone who can barely drive legally.

posted over 3 years ago
 
maredight
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maredight
posts: 183

I don’t really care about age difference! as long as someone makes me happy!

posted over 3 years ago
 
Annebeth
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Annebeth
posts: 68

I met my boyfriend when I was 16, and he was twice my age. We’ve been together for 7 years now and we are perfect for each other. You might think that I’m a big advocate for age differences, but I’m not. Looking back, with the maturity and confidence I have now, I wouldn’t have dived into a relationship with someone so much older. I hate it that guys like to get with younger girls because they are “easier” to influence and more happy go lucky, and dumber of course. Guys love to be the strong, dominant, smarter partner. And it depends on the age of the youngest partner of course. When you’re 16, you’re still a kid, even if you don’t think you are. If you’re 19-20-21, some people really are quite mature already. When you’re 25 going on 30, you are a formed person who doesn’t need to do much developing any more, so you can date a 60 year old and be happy together if you’d wish to do so. Yes, there will be practical issues, but to me it’s all about being equal and being loved for the right reasons.

I sometimes ask myself what the hell my boyfriend saw in my egotistical 16 year old self, but he was at a depressing point in his life and I’m a really happy, bubbly person plus we have the same tastes in humor and music etcetera, so there are some redeeming factors :D

posted over 3 years ago
 
Annebeth
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Annebeth
posts: 68

I met my boyfriend when I was 16, and he was twice my age. We’ve been together for 7 years now and we are perfect for each other. You might think that I’m a big advocate for age differences, but I’m not. Looking back, with the maturity and confidence I have now, I wouldn’t have dived into a relationship with someone so much older. I hate it that guys like to get with younger girls because they are “easier” to influence and more happy go lucky, and dumber of course. Guys love to be the strong, dominant, smarter partner. And it depends on the age of the youngest partner of course. When you’re 16, you’re still a kid, even if you don’t think you are. If you’re 19-20-21, some people really are quite mature already. When you’re 25 going on 30, you are a formed person who doesn’t need to do much developing any more, so you can date a 60 year old and be happy together if you’d wish to do so. Yes, there will be practical issues, but to me it’s all about being equal and being loved for the right reasons.

I sometimes ask myself what the hell my boyfriend saw in my egotistical 16 year old self, but he was at a depressing point in his life and I’m a really happy, bubbly person plus we have the same tastes in humor and music etcetera, so there are some redeeming factors :D

posted over 3 years ago
 
boredstephanie
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boredstephanie
posts: 1309

seriously 3 years is not a big difference when you get older but I guess since you’re only 16, your mother is worried. If you talk to her and she still doesn’t like it, just let her disapprove of it for a couple more years, once you’re a little older, 3 years is no age difference at all

posted over 3 years ago
 
opfiend
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opfiend
posts: 633

My boyfriend is about 20 years older than me. We’ve been together since I was 19 and he was 38. It’s been about 18 months now and things are wonderful. We’ve lived together for 17 months. I moved in really fast which probably wasn’t the best idea but it all worked out.
If I were you, I would consider your mother’s feelings and maybe just stay friends with the guy or bring him around your parents to show them what he’s like.

posted over 3 years ago
 
Ms_Fraser
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Ms_Fraser
posts: 10

I think it all depends on your maturity level.
Im 16 years old. (i have a late birthday) But I used and kind of still date someone whose 20.
And it funny because I felt like in alot of ways i ended up being more mature than him. Not on like having a car and money and such but for the relationship in general…

The oldest Ive talked to is 21. I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone much older than that just because I feel like you guys would be in two different places in your lives…

Now once your past the age of about 19 and your like in your 20’s i feel like age doesn’t factor in too much.. Just because at that time in your life you will most likely have the mindset that you’ll continue to have for a long time.

posted over 3 years ago
 
Daladoir
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Daladoir
posts: 126

My cut-off point for men is half my father’s age, minus two. That’s roughly 13 years.
My cut-off point for women is half my mother’s age, minus two. That’s roughly 12 years.

The closer they are to the cut-off point, the lower the chances, with the highest chances being a quarter of the cut-off age or less.

Yes. I did calculate it mathematically.

posted over 3 years ago
 
Reybeltane
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Reybeltane
posts: 1490

three years isn’t necessarily a huge gap considering the two people and their varying maturity levels, yada yada. As the saying goes, girls mature faster than boys anyhow. However, with everyone bringing up the ‘statutory’ laws, I think that this brings up a very important point. Perhaps your boyfriend is not too old for you, but perhaps you are too young to enter into that kind of sexual relationship just yet. I waited until I was 20 and it still felt too early and very awkward. So just keep that in mind! You don’t want to get it over with. You want to be absolutely sure.

posted over 3 years ago
 
kat_mauvais
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kat_mauvais
posts: 135

I’ve been scouring the forums for a post like this – yipee!

I’m 17 and dating a 29 year old. We met online about a year and and met in person six months ago. I even introduced him to my parents (who like him). I suppose I’m a little different than most because I’m almost a junior in college at my age, which suggests that I’m more mature than most.

His maturity level is wonderful, and there is never a dull moment. We are both [healthily] nuts for each other. We found an apartment for him to move into over Christmas break, and he’ll be living here this time next month. I couldn’t be happier. ;-)

Good luck to all you age-gapers!

http://zanniplainjanefashion.blogspot.com

posted about 3 years ago
 
patlaenz
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patlaenz
posts: 294

I have to agree with EatItBeatIt,For me, it’s never “too old”. It’s “too young”.

I do not understand why someone who should be graduating from College or University soon has any business messing with someone who can barely drive legally.

posted about 3 years ago
 
moshopyadi
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moshopyadi
posts: 7

Hello Ladies what a post I just couldnt ignore so I have to add my two cents worth.

Im 23 years old and I am dating a 35 year old wonderful man, its the first time in my life I have been with an older guy and IM LOVING IT, Older guys have this level of love that I have never experienced before . Its almost as though I have found Super Man, there is nothing wrong with guys my age its just that age has nothing to do with it.

I love Love but ther is a limit when it comes to age cause I dont see myself with a 61 year old man thats just too YUK to even imagine.

xoxo

posted about 3 years ago
 
CrashingRed
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CrashingRed
posts: 36

My partner is 8 years older than me. I have a girlfriend who’s boyfriend is 13 years older than her. I guess it is not about age – it is about love!

posted about 3 years ago
 
andreamq
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andreamq
posts: 111

Its about love, but be careful when its too old!
Imagin yourself if you get together with someone 15 years old!
when you get old your partner will be veeery old!…..

posted about 3 years ago
 
PeachyPanda
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PeachyPanda
posts: 789

All I can say is, if I had a 16 year old daughter, there would be no way in hell i’d let her date a much older guy. But at 19 like you, I feel that’s sufficient enough to date an older person. I’m sure I’ll still be a psycho mom though lol

posted about 3 years ago
 
MiuSan
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MiuSan
posts: 464

Here is mostly girls answering how they date older men…just to point that out.

I don’t see what the hell do so much older men see in girls half their age or 10 years younger. But I do have my stubborn viewpoint.

a. They don’t like women their age, who might want stability and the word mature has a different meaning.
b. It’s a sex thing.
c. They can have a few more years of their boyhood back.

And it’s a whole different thing when the girl is so young she can barely drive like someone said. Then it’s a whole nother game, a powerful one at that.

posted about 3 years ago
 
Flaribel
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Flaribel
posts: 6

I met my now boyfriend when i was 14 and he was 17.. we didnt get together til i was 16 and im now 17 and he’s 20.
so in my opinion for people MY age 3 years is where i draw the line.. now for older people 10 years 20 years… their choice.

posted about 3 years ago
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