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FabulaDico
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FabulaDico
posts: 26

Is it ok for a freshman to date a senior?

posted about 3 years ago
MurasakiNeko
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MurasakiNeko
posts: 1057

It really depends on the freshman and the senior in question, their maturity, and how similar their relationship experiences.

For example, if the senior lost their virginity ages ago and has been dating all of high school and the freshman is a virgin and/or hasn’t been in a serious relationship before, it’s probably a bad idea. Even if the senior doesn’t mean to put pressure on the freshman, there’s still likely to be some stress and impatience, which isn’t what you need when you’re just starting out, even if you are in a hurry to “get to the good stuff.” I think sometimes people think the older partner can be like a mentor, teaching the younger one “the ropes”— but too often that type of relationship turns weirdly manipulative and codependent, where the older one ends up calling all the shots and the younger one loses herself/himself in being defined by the older one’s expectations. I don’t mean they never work out— but I would proceed with caution because when they don’t work out it’s pretty bad.

However, if you both have about the same relationship and/or sexual experience (whether that’s a lot or a little), it evens the playing field. Individual maturity is also important, too, as are your reasons for being in the relationship. Especially if you’re the younger one in the relationship, it’s important to make sure you know who you are outside the relationship, because one of the worst things you can do is make the relationship your entire identity. Also dig deep and make sure you’re really entering this relationship for the other person, not just because of the status or cool factor. But if you know who you are and who the other person is and you both are coming together as equals, then there’s nothing I think that should stop you.

posted about 3 years ago
 
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fgvtica
posts: 11

For me age is not a problem. My boyfriend is much older than me and we get along better than many other couples. Now, some men only want sex and you have to be careful don’t let yourself be fooled that “everybody’s doing it” nothing like that. If a junior dates a senior make sure that hes a gentleman and accepts your decision and NEVER pressures you.

posted about 3 years ago
 
Catherinee
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Catherinee
posts: 1176

Yeah. I mean, there’s other factors, like MurasakiNeko mentioned, but just based on age, it’s not that big of a deal.

I remember last year there was a senior girl with a freshman boy, and everyone made a fuss over that.

posted about 3 years ago
 
aleez816
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aleez816
posts: 52

definitely ! just make sure he doesn’t take advantage of your for your naivete.

posted about 3 years ago
 
OmniDimensional
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OmniDimensional
posts: 148

As long as they aren’t a freak or have other intentions then go for it.

posted about 3 years ago
 
boredstephanie
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boredstephanie
posts: 1309

Yeah the age difference isn’t even that much. It’ll just be hard once the senior goes off to college

posted about 3 years ago
 
miyukisarah
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miyukisarah
posts: 79

I would advise against dating in high school in general…

posted about 3 years ago
 
alinaceusan
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alinaceusan
posts: 654

You should date in high school, nothing is impossible as long as you love the other one. My boyfriend is younger than me with a year and a half and we get along perfectly

posted about 3 years ago
 
FabulaDico
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FabulaDico
posts: 26

Thanks guys. i understand a lot of what people say about how a senior might take advantage of a freshman, but as others have said, it does depend a lot on the maturity. We gave it a try, and I am really happy. I know he won’t pressure me into anything i don’t want to do, and we are pretty similar personality, and we are both total geeks :) I think it’s going to work out. thanks everyone.

posted about 3 years ago
 
notsohum
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notsohum
posts: 167

it definitly depends on the people. My BFF is dating a guy that’s a jumior and he won’t talk to me and her friends because were too young, but my other friends is dating a 23 year old and he is nice and will talk to her friends.

posted about 3 years ago
 
xokeishaxo
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xokeishaxo
posts: 68

Be careful about age though. I am by no means into laws and stuff but you might want to check on your laws to be on the safe side.

One situation I know of first hand- a female was dating a younger guy. I don’t remember the exact age difference but his parents didn’t like her one bit. Literally the day she turned 18 they pressed charges and now she’s a registered sex offender. Stupid. I know. But I hate to see people get tripped up on dumb technicalities.

Also (and this WAS tv so I have no clue if it’s true anywhere or not) on something the state was able to prosecute even though none of the parties involved, including parents, cared to because the guy was 18. Apparently the girl got knocked up or something? I dunno. Also stupid.

But besides my crazy tyrant, I love when ppl find happiness so embrace it!

posted about 3 years ago
 
kittenhood
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kittenhood
posts: 66

I’d say it’s ok, but it matters if you guys have the same expectations or not!

posted about 3 years ago
 
heartandsole95
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heartandsole95
posts: 92

I have always thought too much of an age gap is awkward in high school, especially if the girl i older than the guy, but that’s just my opinion. I think I feel that way mainly because girls are generally more mature than guys, and so I just can’t see myself going for a guy younger than me who I know is going to be more immature than myself.

posted almost 3 years ago
 
DOMOnique
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DOMOnique
posts: 68

If it doesn’t matter if you’re 5, 10, 20 years apart in marriage, why should it matter if you’re like 3 years apart in high school?

posted almost 3 years ago
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