Well, I understand what you are feeling. You should sit down and try to figure out what you really want. If you are getting so scared something is wrong. Maybe you feel that there are many things out there a lot more exciting than a committed relationship.
So my advice:
First of all find out what you want, and then talk about it with the guy you are dating.
I hear you… I’ve never been in an actual official relationship, perhaps for this reason. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting too attached to someone, so then I go and flirt with other guys :/ it’s a bad habit.
If you want to talk about this via messaging, feel free. I’m kind of in the same boat.posted over 3 years ago
I date around. because i haven’t found anyone to be serious about. but in my area people don’t really do that. they date one person at a time get really serious and then they get their heart broken.
the thing about it is. always have a good friendship before you decide to get serious. Because true Friendship can withstand the scariest changes.
Thanks so much for your advice guys :) I feel so much better after reading your posts… I really thought I was the only one!
We’re slowly working things out (keyword slowly) but I’m hoping not to screw this one up.
Thanks again :) you guys are so sweet.posted over 3 years ago
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Itimate relationships need to be based primarily in trust; this is the one fundamental rule for all relationships and more so if it is to be an intimate one. Intimacy is the last holding ground for a firm foundation in love, commitment and marriage. Once let inside the garrison of intimacy all walls have been toppled down, and surrender from both sides is completed toward a victorious union. Trust is an integral part of any relationship, especially if one is seeking a commitment. Trust has to do with truth and without truth and trust every relationship will falter. Trust is the faith that each give to each other that neither will betray, endanger, disrupt, or take advantage of that trust to ensure the continuance of the relationship and partnership.
Commitment is a by-product of devoting ones self permanently to that intimate relationship and as such follows the trust developed between two people to sustain the two as one. To become as one through the two; trust has to develop and ignite the two into one, through mutual common goals, values, and principles which will build upon a stronger foundation so that nothing external can break through its barrier. Without this trust foundation the material on which the relationship is built will collapse and disintegrate. Trust is the cement that binds the bricks together one upon another, brick by brick building the foundation until it becomes a total house and structure, but as cement it needs the correct amount of water and lime to keep it’s consistency for holding the brick together. Water is the spirit and lime is of the earth and the co mingling of both is needed for the sustaining power of the foundation. The physical body of the marriage cannot be held together without the spiritual aspect of both partners and this spiritual aspect is one of truth and love which is relevant to trust. Truth is the highest aspect of love so for truth to exist in a relationship its requirements are, honesty, sincerity, integrity, openness and a genuine love for the other as self, even above self. Many relationships are destroyed because of this one fundamental ingredient, truth. Love cannot exist without trust and trust cannot exist without truth.
Most serious issues arise because trust was not established in the beginning and these issues present themselves in problems with money, possessions, even children which is extremely sad; these are physical symbols for underlying spiritual issues for everything outward has its basis in the inner realities. Prenuptial agreements are a prime example of this distrust for they are used to protect ones possession or wealth. This displays a significant red flag to each that the other cannot be trusted and that each value their possessions and wealth over truth and love and as such over themselves. One should not value anything material over their spiritual nature for this is what leads one to inner happiness and it is for this reason so many become unhappy.
Many become frightened, or commitment phobic and back away from the commitment because they detect the absence of trust and as such know there is no truth to the relationship, which means there really is no love either. It is a wise person that understands this before it is too late; that is generally why people get cold feet and should pay closer attention to what their inner voice is saying. It is inherent in each person’s spirit to attain love from another and to give love for self fulfillment even though the spirit directs the giving up of self to maintain the relationship; for this reason commitment can be viewed as difficult because it is a giving up, in some ways of self but the ideal is for the two to become one, since this is best for self.
Thanksposted over 3 years ago