Forum
SEARCH FORUM:
Facebook
Twitter
Googleplus
PeachyPanda
Style_council
PeachyPanda
posts: 789

I received my latest Harper’s Bazaar magazine in the mail the other day and in it was an article titled “Can you be in fashion and still get a man?” You can read it here:: http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/fashion-articles/fashionable-getting-a-man

I personally agree that many things we deem “fashionable”, the normal straight male finds ugly. Though my boyfriend claims to like my style, there are many times he will straight up say he does not like something I wear and describes my fashion sense as weird. Sometimes, I will go with his suggestion just to appease him and others I will tell him, “I’m not your barbie” go dress someone else. However much he or other guys may not like what I wear, when I am decked in something funky and fantastic and absolutely me, I feel on top of the world and would not give that up for anyone.

posted over 4 years ago
MurasakiNeko
Style_council
MurasakiNeko
posts: 1057

I do think a lot of straight guys are confused and even intimidated by women with daring style. It’s not really surprising; they don’t grow up reading magazines and seeing the fashion spreads we do, and especially in American culture many guys think that dressing well makes them effeminate or “gay” so they just never learn. (:Rolls eyes:). And since they don’t care about fashion, they don’t get why we do.

However, I think most confident and mature guys are able to get past that. After all, a lot of guys are also intimidated by women who are smarter, more educated, or have a higher-paying or more prestigious job than they do; it’s an insecurity thing. But guys who have their own life together usually can appreciate a woman who does her own thing with confidence, and even if he doesn’t “get it” he respects her interests. And in my opinion, those are best kind of guys to date anyway.

I think you handle your boyfriend’s comments perfectly. (I love the “I’m not your Barbie” comeback!). If your style is part of who you are, you shouldn’t change it for anybody. Plus it clearly doesn’t matter what you wear anyway, because he’s with you for who you are under the clothes.

posted over 4 years ago
 
LoveItShop
Style_council
LoveItShop
posts: 84

Hilarious! I read that article too! I was laughing, telling my husband about the article… and I will say… I don’t wear too many long playsuits… b/c he hates them on me!!! They really aren’t flattering on anyone… but when I see them on a girl… I am in love(: Besides the playsuit, my husband loves my wacky style… it is part of me(:

posted over 4 years ago
 
Annebeth
Style_icon
Annebeth
posts: 68

I totally agree with murasakineko: I am my own woman, I form my own image and look and I am in control of how I present myself. My boyfriend fell in love with me and my ENTIRE person, so he should also love my appetite for weirder fashion. Most of the time he does, btw. He’ll just roll his eyes at me if I have something new AGAIN but he usually likes what I wear (even longer hemlines! :D). This means that the FEW times he really doesn’t like what I like, I might secondguess myself because maybe, just MAYBE something really just is ridiculous and not awesomely ridiculous. Most of the time I stand by my opinion though. Other people just don’t GET it :D as long as I enjoy myself and am able to express myself by fashion, I’m loving it.

Having a weird style just shows my personality, just like being smart, educated, having a good job etc like Murasakineko said. I’m quite an outspoken girl and I can come across as arrogant, a lot of men are intimidated or put off by my strong opinions and my lack of patience with people who are slower than me. Thank god my boyfriend is a bit older and not as easily intimidated, he’s quite strongly opinionated himself :D

posted over 4 years ago
 
boredstephanie
Style_council
boredstephanie
posts: 1309

haha I don’t really dress that outrageously fashionable so I’m pretty sure thats not really the reason I don’t have a bf =P

posted over 4 years ago
 
IamnotJessica
Style_council
IamnotJessica
posts: 60

Since a man is defined by his job these days and a women by how she looks I think high fashion can often intimidate men. High fashion to me connotes power and males do not want to be dominated. I think most men probably would look beneath what you look like but you just know that some guys probably do shy away from fashionable women. This being said though I find it fascinating the differences between gender within society.

I am a believer that a guy should love you no matter what you look like and men who do decided not to go with women who dress a certain way or look a certain way are really very shallow!

posted over 4 years ago
 
candy_ytal
Style_council
candy_ytal
posts: 108

Maybe they are just intimidated.. My boyfriend laughs at me when I wear something too loud, edgy or according to him “weird”. I believe it’s not weird, it’s fashion, I just tell him, you guys have no taste. Then I’ll be laughing my ass off. Anyways, if he’s totally into you, he’ll accept you not for what you are wearing or what your fashion style is but because behind those fashionable outfits and fashion trend, there’s always a simple girl with a pure heart that lies within. :)

posted over 4 years ago
 
rhitbie
Style_council
rhitbie
posts: 30

Sometimes my boyfriend is confused by my outfit and when I ask him if he likes it he’ll say something like “well not really, but I’m not exactly the expert on these things” which is fine. I know there are certain things he likes me in so sometimes I will wear them for him but mostly I just dress for myself and I know that even if he doesn’t like my outfit on any given day, it doesn’t change his opinion of me or anything ridiculous.

I read once on another blog that her boyfriends distaste for much of her wardrobe kept her eye fresh and her head out of the clouds, which I think is soo true. I like my head being in the clouds sometimes though :p

posted over 4 years ago
 
HOA1950
Style_council
HOA1950
posts: 14

It varies from guy to guy. Years back I dated a guy who tried to physically make me into something I was’nt and I resented him for that. He was in the night scene and he wanted me to look like a clubber with skin tight clothes and I’m not. If someone loves you for you then they will love your style if they understand it or not. I also dated guys who praised my style genuinely. I dated one guy who thought that if I dressed to fancy people would think he bought it so he wanted me to look bummy like him. i always bought or made my own clothes myself. That didnt work for me and I resented him. A guy must accept your style and you. If you dress to nice you may intimidate a guy, if you dress too bummy he’ll make fun of you. Its a tricky balance. Fashion intimidates people period. Men included.

posted almost 4 years ago
 
xenii
Style_council
xenii
posts: 30

I don’t know, we live in a world where there are the girls that wear nothing, or hardly nothing, and the ones that love to dress!!!! I believe I belong in the ones that love to dress… I think some guys may find it intimidating that we like to dress up, so sometimes they think it’s easier to go for an easier target, the ones that hardly wear anything. I’m not trying to hate on those girls, but I think it’s more classy when your underwear doesn’t show in a short dress. Guys are simple, so if anything more complex comes their way, most of them just give up and move onto the next one. I personally think that most guys won’t mind a girls love for fashion, my boyfriend doesn’t :)

posted almost 4 years ago
 
brightonb
Style_council
brightonb
posts: 141

I’m a normal straight guy and fashion doesn’t change my view on someone at all if I’m attracted to someone or like someone I’ll talk to them anyway, if they’re wacky and out there or dress really plain. It would be a bit snobby to not talk to someone because of how they dress unless they’ve got serious problems of course.

posted almost 4 years ago
 
OmniDimensional
Style_council
OmniDimensional
posts: 148

I wish my man understood my passion for fashion! He just doesn’t get it. * sigh * :p

posted almost 4 years ago
 
BravoCoconut
New_user BravoCoconut is new to Chictopia!

Make Her Feel Welcome with Chic Points
10 points - Become a fan
5 points - Vote her photos into the Style Gallery
1 point - Post a comment on her photos

When BravoCoconut reaches 200 Chic Points, she will be in the Style Council!
BravoCoconut
posts: 21

If your boyfriend doesn’t want to stay with you based on what you wear, then that is not a boyfriend worth having.

Dress the way you love because if you dress to attract a mate then you won’t attract someone who appreciates you for you. Not only that, but you won’t be happy if you don’t dress the way you want. My boyfriend hates fashion but after I started blogging he started to become interested in it. This is an example of a man who loves his woman for who she is.

posted over 2 years ago
 
BeckyBedbug
Style_council
BeckyBedbug
posts: 391

This is brilliant!

Sometimes men just don’t get fashion. That’s fine. My fiancé doesn’t get it but he thinks I look lovely in everything. Either that, or he knows what the correct response is!!

posted over 2 years ago
 
RachelPheasant
Style_council
RachelPheasant
posts: 70

This piece is a little dated—the author is now getting/is married! You should check out her follow-up pieces to this original article :)

posted over 2 years ago
REPLY TO DISCUSSION

related topics

Please log in. Don't have an account? Sign up here.
or login below
Username
Password