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booboo21
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booboo21
posts: 166

I Just broke up with my boyfriend.
He started acting like the biggest jerk. And it got to the point where we were breaking up everyday and getting back together with conditions n stuff, and then i just had it because he wouldnt change.
its over now,
but i feel so sad now if i have nothing to do.
i need to keep myself busy. this was a One year relationship with prior 4 year friendship :\
Do u have any advice that will pull me out of my misery….

posted about 4 years ago
MurasakiNeko
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MurasakiNeko
posts: 1057

I think it makes things a little easier knowing that YOU broke up with HIM. If you start to feel sentimental, remind yourself of the reasons why things weren’t working out between you, and feel proud of yourself for having the wisdom to walk away. Nobody deserves to settle for something that is stressing them out and making them miserable; by ending this, you have ensured the opportunity to find something better.

Chances are you have learned some things from this relationship about what you can and cannot tolerate in a boyfriend, and you can use these to make sure you end up with someone better for you next time. It’s like Edison said about inventing, “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Don’t tell yourself you have nothing to do— find something to do, instead. A boyfriend or husband should never be your entire life anyway, and you can lead a very fulfilling single life. Hang out with your friends, get serious with one of your favorite hobbies, or try something new you’ve always wanted to do. Plus, the more interesting and passionate you are, the more likely interesting and passionate people will find you and be attracted to you when you’re ready to start dating again.

It’s going to suck for a little bit, though; not gonna lie. In a way, you have to “mourn” for the relationship the way you would mourn for a death or be sad after graduating from school . . . A time in your life that was important is over for you, and you’ve lost someone who was meaningful in your life. So don’t be afraid of feeling sad or angry, and find constructive ways to let your feelings out. Talk with a friend, go for a run, listen to or write music, do something creative. (I wrote loads of bad poetry during one of my breakups :-P I’m not saying you have to share it with anybody, now!). After you get the emotion out, distract yourself with something fun. You won’t heal if you try to keep everything inside, and you won’t heal if you obsess, either. Let it out and let it go, and it will fade in time.

Good luck!

posted about 4 years ago
 
booboo21
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booboo21
posts: 166

Thank you so much ^ MurasakiNeko. Your very wise.

posted about 4 years ago
 
erbear
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erbear
posts: 16

i agree with MurasakiNeko.
It’s going to be very hard at first but over time it’ll become easier. Last year I was dating a boy who i fell for very fast. At first it was great but over time things became rocky and as time went on i learned he had feeling for someone else. I was a mess. I cried all the time and didn’t keep myself busy and in time he realized how upset he was and used it to his advantage. He would call me when he felt like it because he knew I would come running to him and when he got what he wanted he would ignore me again. It became an awful cycle.
DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!
Everytime you get the urge to call him or something keep yourself busy to stop the urge. Last year friends, music, and reading became my saviors. Whenever I felt sad and couldnt stop thinking about Joey I would call my bestfriend and we would drive around my town, singing to music at the top of our lungs. I have a whole pile of cds that I burnt for her and i to listen to. Some of the songs made us laugh, some cry, and everytime I hear those songs now I think of my best friend instead of joey.
Along with music and friends, reading helped. It was all happening at the time twilight became popular so that’s what i read. I always wrote a lot too.
I know my situation isnt the same as yours because you and him had known eachother for so much longer but you can still use these tips to keep your mind off him. Try a new hobby, go to the gym, take a new exercise class (i recently tried taking a zumba dance class;so much fun!), go shopping…anything to take your mind off him!Friends are the very best distraction but hobbies help as well!

I hope this helps.

<3erbear

posted about 4 years ago
 
y0m1ndeeezy
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y0m1ndeeezy
posts: 11

aww :( so sorry to hear that!

it’s okay.. i was with my ex for a little over a year and he was the BIGGEST JERK. we broke up so many times and got back together to the point that it wasn’t even a big deal anymore. i got fed up with all the unnecessary drama with an immature boyfriend so i broke up with him. after all, i couldn’t even see a future with that loser anyways.. but yeah i felt sad at first. i was so used to getting back with him after i called it off but something inside of me wouldn’t let me go back to my bad habits.

time is your friend and you just have to be patient with it. it’ll take time to heal but it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun in the process :) go out with your friends and just do things that will keep your mind off of the situation. my ex was really clingy so i never really had time to hang out with my friends. but after i broke up with him, i had all the time in the WORLD. and i realized how much i was missing out with my friends.

look on the brighter side :)
now that you’re single, you have another chance to go out and meet someone that knows how to treat you right. you’ll be able to meet the guy you deserve :)

posted about 4 years ago
 
booboo21
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booboo21
posts: 166

Thank you girls so much! erbear and y0m1ndeeezy your advice is helpful and true. im going through what u girls were discribing and im gonna take ur advice and distract myself with fun activites :)

Thanks Again!

posted about 4 years ago
 
playingwithfire
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playingwithfire
posts: 29

You have gotten some really great advice from the girls above. Try to keep your mind off of the break up and occupy your time with things you love to do. Break ups are never easy, but just keep reminding yourself of why you decided to break up. It will get easier with time. <3

posted about 4 years ago
 
mariezee
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mariezee
posts: 36

With time you will heal, I promise. Playingwithfire has great advice – keep yourself busy! Hope you feel better soon. In a year from now things won’t seem so bad.

posted about 4 years ago
 
booboo21
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booboo21
posts: 166

Thank you so much girls! playingwithfire and mariezee Thank you so much for giving your time and advice. All You ladies make me feel better and it’s making it easier.

posted about 4 years ago
 
asiianhoniie
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asiianhoniie
posts: 21

its gonna be hard during the first couple of days, or weeks. but just keep yourself busy and whenever you find yourself thinking, missing him, just remind yourself of all the bad times he’ve given you!!!! and how much you hated it. so yeahhh, go hangout with your friends. party or just do whatever it takes to keep this off your mind. its hard, i understand!!! i’ve been thru it and it feels like i was dying lol but yeahhh, i hope you take care!!!!

posted about 4 years ago
 
booboo21
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booboo21
posts: 166

Thank you girls so much. asiianhoniie and MissMi you guys are so right. He was an ass and it wasnt going anywhere anyways. thanks so much!!

posted about 4 years ago
 
magpie13
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magpie13
posts: 26

I think everything has already been said.
but.
I broke up with my boyfriend 4 months ago after dating for a year. He was such a huge part of my life but he changed…in a bad way. And part of me just kept hanging on to who he was and who he could be. I didn’t want to admit that the person he had turned into was staying around for a while. Finally…. I had to end it. It was heartbreaking, making that final decision and ending it. It hurt so much, i hated hearing about all the disasters he was getting himself into and watching him with his new girlfriend (he got with her two days after we broke up…..)…it was so hard.

But. I stayed busy. And i wrote A LOT about how I was feeling in a private blog…and I hung out with alllll my friends every weekend. And finally, after 2 months, I just woke up….and it was okay. It didn’t hurt anymore. The past was the past and now was now… whereas before I had been stuck in the past. Yeah, it sucks that he had to break my heart like that,but I am honestly over it. I don’t think about him and I really don’t care much about him because now i can see him for who he REALLY is.

goodluck, sweetie=)

posted about 4 years ago
 
booboo21
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booboo21
posts: 166

Omg magpie13! thats awful. two days?! what a jerk

But u stayed strong and thats Inspiring.

Thank you so much for ur advice.

posted about 4 years ago
 
pleasurebabyy
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pleasurebabyy
posts: 85

The best advice i can give you is to ALWAYS remember that time heals everything, as time will pass, you will look back into your past & reminisce but all that would be just great memories.. its all gone. Now dat you broke u with him.. a lot and im saying theres gonna be alot of things popping into ur life that will remind you of him. you gotta try hard to be as busy as u can be.. never stay alone and whine about your good times together and how good he made you feel.. because all that will bring you back into wanting him.. and I know you dont want that, you broke up with him for a reason! always remember that reason.. and stay strong download songs about independent women ..& always remember theres always that special person waiting for you to treat you da way you should be.. so all you gotta do is get busy with your girls & never even worry about what hes doing, im a big believer in KARMA..& he will get his ! trust me he willllll girllll lol U got one life to live dont waste it on someone whos BLIND and cant see what he just lost oh well too bad.. ummmm NEXT!… :)) Best song to download: Karma – Alicia Keys !

I hope this helped booboo .

posted about 4 years ago
 
CrystalC
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CrystalC
posts: 35

I’m so sorry you’re going through a tough break-up. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and things have been awful, but I try to work nonstop so I don’t obsess over it. I also avoid my apartment as much as possible since we still live together……. Anyway, it’s definitely helped me to do spontaneous things that I wouldn’t normally do. Excitement, even if it’s over something really small helps to lift my mood. I force myself to do one worthwhile/meaningful thing a day. That way everyday is “The day I did ____” and not “that day I bawled for an hour.”

I don’t know if any of this will help you, but at the very least I hope you know that you are not alone.

posted about 4 years ago
 
booboo21
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booboo21
posts: 166

CrystalC it helps alot thanks! Also pleasurebabyy thanks. you ladies are amazing!
Your all so wise :)

Things are looking bright as time passes

posted about 4 years ago
 
Crisss
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Crisss
posts: 1295

be strong and optimistic

posted over 1 year ago
 
NathalieBrown
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NathalieBrown
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I have something to say to Him: Treat woman the same way you would want your daughter to be treated.

I know girl, You can forget him. If he truly loves you. he will never let you go, even how hard the situation is right?

posted over 1 year ago
 
lindajudour
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lindajudour
posts: 223

Hi guys. This was posted 2 years ago, if you’d like, you can make a new thread. Thanks!

posted over 1 year ago
 
dashou2012
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dashou2012
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tods shoes online
tods shoes online store

posted over 1 year ago
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