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catiebeatty
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catiebeatty
posts: 1333

First off, I’m not the one suffering through this, it’s my younger sister. Her best friend, Sally, is out-of-town on a camping trip and Sally’s boyfriend, Jesse, decided this would be the perfect time to tell my sister that he has feelings for her. She flat out told him “I DO NOT feel that way about!” It’s gotten pretty outta hand and he won’t leave her alone. He also keeps going back and forth, saying crazy things like “Oh, you’re blowing this outta proportion. I don’t want anything romantic. I just wanted to sweep you off your feet.” Obvi, he is crazy and confused. My sister hasn’t told her BFF what’s going on yet, because there’s no way to get a hold of her right now. She plans to talk to her tho.

What would you all do in this situation?

posted almost 2 years ago
mercik
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mercik
posts: 211

Well on one end she has a duty to her friend
But friends rarely believe this sort of thing and choose the guy over the friend (usually)
Her friend won’t know he’s a scum bucket until they break up.

If she tells she may not be believed.
He’s a liar.

Maybe she should wait to see how he behaves and if he brings something up.
But either way there will be drama.

I personally wouldn’t tell because when people are in love they always think you’re jealous and made it up.

posted almost 2 years ago
 
mercik
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mercik
posts: 211

Best case scenario- she rats on the boyfriend and her friend will say “omg thank you, you’re a great friend for telling me!” Then DUMPS the loser.

Worse case scenario: her friend believes the guys lies when he says "that never happened SHE CAME ON TO ME! And their friendship is ruined.

Very rarely do these cases work out smoothly.

Like I said, if it were me, (and yes, I’ve been through this before) I wouldn’t say anything and just keep the friendship. Meanwhile she can threaten her boyfriend and use it as blackmail. Shell ALWAYS have the upper hand with a secret like that.
On the flip side if she doesn’t tell now, then she can NEVER TELL.
BECAUSE WHEN THEY BREAK UP, THE friend will say “why didn’t u tell me then? You mean u let me date a jerk?”

If she tells now and he lies, and she loses her friendship…it may be just temporary, but so much drama.

Who needs it.

A lot of guys will do stuff like this.

Welcome to the real world.

posted almost 2 years ago
 
catiebeatty
Forum_moderator
catiebeatty
posts: 1333

I told her a lot of the same things, like “Sally may choose him over you.”

I forgot to mention, most of his advances are in writing! He’s sent a lot thru Facebook and text message, so my sister at least has proof.

He’s already tried to turn it around and tell her she took things the wrong way, but that is hard to do when he’s like “When you look into my eyes, I feel connected like I never have before” and cheesy stuff like that.

It really could go either way right now, but I’m hoping her bf won’t blame her.

posted almost 2 years ago
 
BleakandWet
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BleakandWet
posts: 519

I feel sorry for the guy. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, right? But I guess he should have at least told his own gf before going for your sister. I think she should tell her friend before it gets worse…

posted almost 2 years ago
 
clara101
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clara101
posts: 90

I think she should tell her friend – it’s better than her ending up heartbroken somewhere down the line when it could have been avoided much earlier.

posted almost 2 years ago
 
catiebeatty
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catiebeatty
posts: 1333

I don’t feel sorry for the guy at all. He is not in love. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too. He had no intention of breaking things off with his girlfriend. Shameful.

posted almost 2 years ago
 
tippiford
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tippiford
posts: 39

Drama, drama, drama … I’d definitely tell my best friend.

posted almost 2 years ago
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